Review: The Gateway (Harbinger of Doom Volume 1) by Glenn Thater

Hoo boy. This book made Mr Upstream very very thankful for the 'sample' button that ebooks feature. It also made Mr Upstream thankful for cheap alcohol.

Mr Upstream believes he will let Mr Thater's work speak for itself. Here area few examples of the (appropriately empurpled) prose inflicted upon the unsuspecting reader in The Gateway:

A grayed Lord and his lieutenants stood at the fore of a small wedge of armored soldiers, veterans all. Malignant, clinging mist wafted about, sickening the men and clouding their vision. With the mist came a thunderous cacophony that consumed the night, piercing the very souls of those unfortunates within its demesne. A maleficent, skirling, bestial sound, akin to naught in nature and much in nightmare. A preternatural wailing it was, and in its wake bounded death.

So the sound might not be so nice. This was the first paragraph, in case you were interested.

On to part II!

Angry wood screamed [really?] as the stairwell door burst open. Brother Claradon Eotrus's hand went to his sword hilt as several figures flew through the portal onto the tower's roof. Par Tanch spun toward them, death flaring in his eyes and blue fire licking the apex of his staff. But the wizard lowered his ensorcelled weapon, and his aspect softened at the sight of Sir Ector Eotrus's haggard face. At the young nobleman's heels were his diminutive comrade Ob and a glity-armored leviathan known as the Lord Angle Theta. Behind them came one Dolan Silk, a wiry man of sickly pallor and strange ears.

Rarely in Mr Upstream's long reading career has he seen such overwrought fiction. It's not quite to the level of, say, The Eye of Argon, but not for lack of effort.

And that, dear readers, is why Glenn Thater has earned the inaugural Upstream Independent Fiction Review Purple Prose award.

(Rating: 7/10 middle fingers)