Sunday, April 12, 2009

Queen of the Orcs Trilogy by Morgan Howell





Morgan Howell is not the author's real name. If Mr Upstream had had written this trilogy, he'd have changed his name as well.

Mr Upstream could give you a very detailed synopsis of each of the three books, and talk about the interesting correlations between Howell's orcs and various North American Indian tribes, but in the end all you really need to know is this: Read the first book to see how to bring to life a non-human sentient culture. Read the next two books to see how to make an utter hash of characterization and motivation of anyone without green skin or black teeth, and how to make readers frustrated beyond belief.

The human characters in books two and three weren't even cardboard. Cardboard is sturdier. It reminded Mr Upstrean a little of The Grapes of Wrath, where the Okies were lovingly, intricately detailed, and you really felt their humanity, but the California bosses were cheap die-cut villains.

Mr Upstream wanted to tear these books apart, but when it came down to it, Mr Upstream mostly just felt sad at the wasted potential of the books.

Mr Upstream is now going to lie down with a bottle of rye and cry himself to sleep.


Saturday, April 11, 2009

Nice to be back from 'vacation'

Mr Upstream was away. Bet you didn't notice.

Don't wory, Mr Upstream will soon be posting more independent reviews. As soon as the restraining order expires.